I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
