Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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