My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As shirtless as possible
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
