Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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