people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You pole danced in your parka.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
