quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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