if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize