From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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