If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
