lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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