There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
