I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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