After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
