There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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