she was so not down for the gang bang
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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