She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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