TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
