I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
