How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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