Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
