and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
