somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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