So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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