A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
