Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
