i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
