Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
