Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
