My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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