he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
