So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
