Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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