I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
