his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
