I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
