So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
