no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
