I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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