I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
smell my finger.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
