Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
