So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
