Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
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I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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