And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize