Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
