I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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