you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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