Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
