he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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