Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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