In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
