Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
