I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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