you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
