so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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