I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
