You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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