Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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