yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's always time for handjobs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A bitchslap is in order.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
