I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well you can't waste a boner
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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