Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just pee around me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
