"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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