He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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