im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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