There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You ruined the universe
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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