wanna go halves on a baby?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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