He is such a slut. More and more my type.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
