I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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