Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
