If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
